Remember that nobody is better than you. They’re richer? In a relationship? Taller? Smarter? It doesn’t matter, the truth is we’re all equal no matter how hard they try to prove otherwise. Also, the way people treat you is a reflection of themselves. If some rich guy in a Porsche with his hot 20 yo gf stops to laugh at you who’s walking on the sidewalk, feel pity for them. Bc even with all that they have they are still being ruled by their insecurities.
This was me and I felt the same way. The best advice I can tell you and you’re going to hate it is, continue to force yourself to socially interact with others, do public speaking if an opportunity arises and to shift the focus away from you/ how you’re feeling ask people questions/follow up questions to whatever they say.
You’ll have a empty/ butterfly feeling in your stomach, heart pounding but eventually you’ll get comfortable- I’ve also noticed it got more comfortable after 30, as i did the above and I also cared less about how my interaction would be judged.
It’s also good to have an exit strategy, if you’re like I can’t continue and need a breather “I’m so sorry, but I have to use the bathroom” is a good one I use.
Always remember, people are more worried about themselves than you. Just try to relax and do what feels natural (easier said than done, I know). Personally for me I know when I think too hard about it I get in my head and then I freak out and can’t even get out a word.
If you go out in public and feel that everyone is watching you because people are making eye contact, remember that it's because people literally just use their eyes to observe their surroundings. If you go to a new place you're definitely going to look around and familiarise yourself with the location. If you hear the door open you'll instinctively glance over to see who entered. Other people are exactly the same. Don't worry about it.
Another thing is - if you think people are judging you, you are in fact judging them and assuming negatively about them. Most of the time, people are thinking just as much about themselves as you think about yourself. It's really not a big deal. They're too busy worrying about their own things than to think about you.
What would you define as a genuine conversation? What do you want to talk about?
Fake it ‘till you make it helps. Imagine you’re an actor playing the role of a confident person. You would research the role to get believable. After a while, it will come naturally.
Show up as your weird-ass self. Just be weird. Be robotic and scripted, be inorganic and awkward. Just show up anyway. In my experience it gives other people permission to be their weird-ass selves too.
Remember that nobody is better than you. They’re richer? In a relationship? Taller? Smarter? It doesn’t matter, the truth is we’re all equal no matter how hard they try to prove otherwise. Also, the way people treat you is a reflection of themselves. If some rich guy in a Porsche with his hot 20 yo gf stops to laugh at you who’s walking on the sidewalk, feel pity for them. Bc even with all that they have they are still being ruled by their insecurities.
This was me and I felt the same way. The best advice I can tell you and you’re going to hate it is, continue to force yourself to socially interact with others, do public speaking if an opportunity arises and to shift the focus away from you/ how you’re feeling ask people questions/follow up questions to whatever they say. You’ll have a empty/ butterfly feeling in your stomach, heart pounding but eventually you’ll get comfortable- I’ve also noticed it got more comfortable after 30, as i did the above and I also cared less about how my interaction would be judged. It’s also good to have an exit strategy, if you’re like I can’t continue and need a breather “I’m so sorry, but I have to use the bathroom” is a good one I use.
Always remember, people are more worried about themselves than you. Just try to relax and do what feels natural (easier said than done, I know). Personally for me I know when I think too hard about it I get in my head and then I freak out and can’t even get out a word.
If you go out in public and feel that everyone is watching you because people are making eye contact, remember that it's because people literally just use their eyes to observe their surroundings. If you go to a new place you're definitely going to look around and familiarise yourself with the location. If you hear the door open you'll instinctively glance over to see who entered. Other people are exactly the same. Don't worry about it. Another thing is - if you think people are judging you, you are in fact judging them and assuming negatively about them. Most of the time, people are thinking just as much about themselves as you think about yourself. It's really not a big deal. They're too busy worrying about their own things than to think about you. What would you define as a genuine conversation? What do you want to talk about?
Fake it ‘till you make it helps. Imagine you’re an actor playing the role of a confident person. You would research the role to get believable. After a while, it will come naturally.
I hear this a lot but it doesn’t explain how to act confident in everyday life
Show up as your weird-ass self. Just be weird. Be robotic and scripted, be inorganic and awkward. Just show up anyway. In my experience it gives other people permission to be their weird-ass selves too.
Practice(speaking, dancing, singing, playing in public) makes perfect.
It's chemicals. Get different chemicals in you and you change - personality is chemistry. Probably an unpopular opinion here, but worked for me.
People are assholes.