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Scrublime5

The answer is no buddy. That spark you felt at that time in your life is gone and it's not coming back. Start drinking now and you could be dead in just a few short years.


Gaping_Grandfather

I've been drinking heavily for 20 years and my doctor keeps saying I'm mostly fine. 


Scrublime5

Being fat and drinking isn't "drinking heavily"


Gaping_Grandfather

Tell my mom that. She keeps trying to intervention me. 


Cockandballcouture

Yeah this doesn’t account for the alc-maxxing gene. My dad aside from after surgeries has killed anywhere from 6 to 30 beers a night as long as I’ve been alive and he’s pretty damn healthy


Wiener_Butt

I fucked him


pm_me_ur_ifak

hell yeah dude


IRENE420

It’s a dangerous game but a few tings to keep in mind. Light beers like <5% are best. And be sure to eat clean and well, water too. I think Shane Gillis had a story of being honest with his doc saying he drinks like 40 beers a week and the doc being immediately concerned. But then it turns out after the test that all his bloodwork in chemistry was fine


TheChinchilla914

5 beers a day ain’t shit


rupertpupkinenjoyer

It’s rare that boozebags are healthy in other areas of life so that’s why the stats are skewed


boojieboy666

Heavy drinkers likely smoke and eat like shit


sj333386

Boy math maxxing


Mr_Fahrenheittt

Same shit with my mom. She’d down a handle of vodka like every 2 days for like a decade, but when she checked in to rehab all her bloodwork came back normal.


Throwrajerb

Then stop drinking cold turkey


The-20k-Step-Bastard

I learned this the hard way when World of Warcraft Classic came out. It was the same in the game, but everything around it changed. And they can remake the game I played when I 14, but they can’t make me 14 again.


JoadTom24

Just pretend you're fourteen and sell that bussy.


Mr_Fahrenheittt

I’m working on it bro damn. I’m just looking for something to listen to while drunk driving to and from the department store across town over and over again


600lb_deeplegalshit

> driving to and from the department store  what’s his name?


Mr_Fahrenheittt

Fine… his name is Rosco


Scrublime5

Sandstorm by darude on repeat


IALWAYSGETMYMAN

I wish there was a way to know when I'm inside the good old gays before they've cum and gone


Gaping_Grandfather

I play stavvys world and TAFS at the same time on two devices. 


Dkarasta

King shit


762_54r

Left ear: 10 hours of Stav laughing YouTube video Right ear: TAFS podcast


HideThePain_Harold

I talk to the voices in my head that resemble the three of them the most.


Failtwo

So twisted


dabidarllyst

🥲🥲


strangefruit3500

Have you tried having gay sex? That kinda scratches the same itch for me. Like a straight dude letting another man use his ass in order to relive the para social relationships he once had is 100% a Nick bit.  And if you put googly eyes on a potatoe and have it in the room with you while your ass is getting looted. Then that’s pretty much the same as having Stav there


notAllenIverson

yeah, it's called Tom Meyers vs. The Rest of the World.


goodvvillcunting

No. It's over, and it's never coming back. You're getting old and jaded, and even if you did find something like Cumtown today, you wouldn't have the vibrant experience you felt in your youth. You can listen to it again, but it will be duller every time. The shadows will recede less and less, and you just don't have the stamina or optimism to fight them back the way you used to. But hey, have you listened to the Ian Fidance episode? He lights Adam on fire for a second. Maybe that'll cheer you up.


oilerfan69

“Wait wait don’t tell me” has some edgy bits 


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Davethemann

Greg Proops took a Greg Poops for all that cum


Grand_Excitement6106

Wait wait don't fuck me


SorcerersDestination

Nothing will ever be able to capture the magic of cumtown


chewyy34

Playing Fortnite kinda scratches the itch for me, they also have a new Billie Ellish skin


Naked-Existence

Wtf I think this guy is straight


ALJIZzzEERA

She's gay


Outrageous_Word_9889

Getting extremely high and playing FPS games


GDrat

This man has it all figured out.


Monstermogstern

Don't forget to maniacly scream racial slurs while you're playing.


don_tuna_

96.9FM the bust on youtube


theOURword

tbh i just downloaded the archive torrent. the bust skips some classics, plays some dog shit ones too much, and i got tired of the episodes playing in descending order


Grand_Excitement6106

Yep I like bust.club for that reason


brigaeI

Matt and Shane are really funny, their subreddit/audience is terribly straight and lame but they're good


Bravesguy29

It's just not the same anymore.


laptophelppleaas

I’ve been saying it for months but they need to get the sectional down to Austin. Matt needs to be cozy and have somewhere inappropriate to put his feet… like another man’s coffee table.


MethMondays

Peak cast was in billys flagroom, in a more formal setting where brilliant homosexual minds can truly grapple


Bravesguy29

Well that and I wanna here riff. I don't wanna constantly hear shane talk about who he partied with.


laptophelppleaas

Exactly. They literally pull two chairs up to do story time. They need to be cozy comfy.


ALJIZzzEERA

Do you listen to war mode? They can be funny af sometimes


never_again13

Mssp is the reigning best podcast


Sea_Importance9700

Dad meat. They've been killing it consistently for a couple years now


puddintainismyname

sounds hot


Mkultravictim69_

I sometimes listen to old Opie and Anthony bits, where Jim Norton is going off. Also Chip Chipperson podcast (one of Jim Nortons characters) is pretty good. Apart from that I’ve developed this ability to just say slurs at myself in the mirror and it produces almost the same effect as listening to cumtown


Scrublime5

Anyone who ever tried to show me a chip chipperson has been the biggest retard I ever met, only knocked out of place by the next guy who tried to show me chip chipperson


Mkultravictim69_

Your wellcum https://youtu.be/L9_QE-BYbhw?si=3yeEqIDobIl-hO8r


Scrublime5

You just made the list


Mkultravictim69_

As a Zionist I can’t begin to tell you how much I love being on lists


Scrublime5

Schindler would have put you on the first train to buchenwald


stephenspielgirth

There’s no fucking way you posted this to a public forum


Mkultravictim69_

I’ve always been a fan of the chipper


ColonelSquirtz

The Scorch episodes are really good, as is Jocktober. I didn’t even know about Cumtown until the o and a subreddit started a gay ass war with Cumtown. The downfall of the Opie and Anthony subreddit was the most darkly evil and hilarious thing I’ve ever witnessed.


Davethemann

Is there someway to see all the lore on that


ShitpostMalone

https://youtu.be/sQDZpCuhyJI?si=v2nJAEWnD2VJWfZX


ALJIZzzEERA

Old o&a and Monday morning podcast are pretty fuckin funny. I'm going to find the next cum boys some day. I know there are some creatures out there right now talking into a mic.


SlickPinky

Check out the old Ron and Fez archives


erratuminamorata

1 guy 1 jar


ALJIZzzEERA

Lemon party


Swantonbombthreat

really enjoying sam tallent’s podcast chubby behemoth


Bravesguy29

Yeah sam is a talent.


Aero06

Their 10 minute ramble about Professor X a few weeks ago felt like a bit from when Nick still had the light in his eyes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYNrKecjNfM&t=600s&ab_channel=ChubbyBehemoth


Swantonbombthreat

i really like sam. i went to see nick in royal oak last summer and sam was at the show just hanging out so they added him as a guest spot. i hadn’t heard of him before and honestly i thought he was a local guy at first. he absolutely crushed the 15 minute spot (honestly he smoked nick that night) so i looked him up and i’ve been fucking with him since.


fatdervish

Pendejo time and Pod About List are aiight


Administrative-Sleep

Pendejo Time


TheElbow

This is the closest in terms of bit weirdness, but the tone is different for sure. I enjoy it though.


Administrative-Sleep

It's got Austin Texas as a backdrop instead of the New York comedy scene but they can riff. Going deep on a concept with more blue collar ideas than self loathing Hollywood stuff.


WAR_T0RN1226

Tried getting into it. I like them when they're with a guest or are guests, but just the two of them I can't get into their riffing style. It's like they're just trying to get a riff going nonstop versus shooting the shit and letting the riffs happen


ItZSAMIC

Ive only listened to the few eps they’ve done of reading reviews for things (strip clubs, sex toys, whatever) and I don’t feel like they were trying too hard to riff


SheZowRaisedByWolves

Spitting game seminar is a goated bit. Wigger Noah’s arc, Tommy Johnny, hitting on a woman you hit with your car, and car decal of someone fucking a dog are great too.


ItZSAMIC

Links pls


SheZowRaisedByWolves

WSV for wigger Noah’s arc Tony Johnny for Tommy Johnny Happy ass reaper for decal Spitting game seminar self titled episode Don’t remember which episode had the woman getting hit by a car but the episode titles are the ones with the other bits. Haven’t found isolated bits on YouTube other than [pedophile Jeff foxworthy](https://youtu.be/mdVF1QMGUk4?si=8_rG_zt1VVMRMWkW)


onion-lord

Just listen to every warhammer 40k lore video on YouTube


consmills

REDBARRADIO.net Give it a year, report back


FoxNixon

The Bonfire. It’s a radio show but there are some really good clip channels that have compilations of different subjects they have discussed and they have some killer riffs. I’ve even laughed harder than some peak Cum Town episodes. The Corey Feldman episodes are always hilarious or when they watch a viral video and start riffing about what went on behind the scenes


pestyprofessor

SleepyCabin


SheZowRaisedByWolves

Autistic kid and the bland man is one of the greatest stories I’ve ever heard


Davethemann

I was getting ready to type that And of course, Oneygays, with the funny gay Alien and Gay Legal Alien


ProfessorMarth

OG group is a classic but I like the dynamic of Chris, Zach, Tomar, and Lyle. The bits Chris and Zach come up with are so retarded and they're my best friends actually


C0ltFury

Yeah this is pretty much the only one that comes close in tone


BIGANIMEFAN

Sleepycabin is the only other podcast that captures the "guys dicking around during lunch in high school" vibes that Cumtown does. They also have pretty similar taste in jokes to Nick. Lots of autism and dick stuff. It's not exactly like Cumtown but it's the closest thing to it and just generally a fantastic comedy podcast. High recommend it to anyone here.


SchizoGondola

God that shit got me through it


Homer-irl

RIP SleepyCabin


cacaphonous_rage

You might wanna try making friends in real life buddy. The local gay bar is a great place to start.


ALJIZzzEERA

You think I have friends if I listened to cumtown 8 years Ago?


alpinetime

Try Tom Myers vs. the Rest of the World


No_Possession4143

XFM radio with Ricky, Steve and Karl. Not the Ricky Gervais show but season 1-4 of their radio show. RSK on Spotify. Great stuff


Fit_Eggplant_6221

Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened


chilem-of-reddit

Chubby behemoth


therightstuffdotbiz

Redbar can be good, I like Shane and Matt, old O and A are good especially with Patrice. It's generic but find something to do actively so you can get better and focus on it. Everyone says the gym and that is good. I like playing sports too.


lambsquatch

Matt and Shane’s secret podcast and lemonparty…only ones that cum close


Least_Tomorrow357

Download the CumTown archive and put it on shuffle.


ProfessorGrouch

Race Wars when Kurt Metzger was still on it is damn close if not better. All the old episodes with Kurt, the only ones worth listening to, are on Apple Podcasts


harry_powell

Race Wars was my first comedy podcast and the gateway to all the NY comics. For a couple of years it was hilarious. It had Gavin McInnes and Ann Coulter but it wasn’t right wing, just fun.


ProfessorGrouch

Exactly. A true space for diverse thought and humor. I miss it but hey, it still hits.


Tadpole-Relative

Gay porn


FabriceSantoro

Joy Tactics scratches some of the weirdness itch for me


link_n_bio

Yeah it’s better tbh


Explod1ngNinja

Yeah I’ll tell you all about it after my bong hit transplant


R3volte

Legion of skanks is good, was always my number 2 after cumtowm.


salamigunn

I found cumtown this way when the bonezone ended, which I found after Opie and Anthony crashed and burned. What made cumtown great was the self awareness that all comedy podcasts sucked, they were hacky and annoying, comedy stunk and being smart was gay. The flip side of that is that you've seen behind the curtain, and now everything sucks. Wasn't long before I barely listened to any podcasts anymore. There's certain foods that you love, but they taste like shit when you reheat em. That's comedy podcasts for me now. Might be for you too.


CootahBrown

Out for smokes


DaBastardofBuildings

I'm starting to love that pod. They'll cover interesting topics occasionally but it's at its funniest when their desperate and kinda self-aware incompetence surfaces. Mike thinking that pissing himself on air would be a "fun bit", then Sean and Scott just totally ignoring him as pees all over his own ass and gets up to change his adult diaper. Mike's rage whenever Scott or Sean mention how underwhelming their pod is. Scott, the dumbest and warmest of the 3, occasionally owning mike with ruthless cold logic. It's bad but it's good. One could even say it suckssss but it's sexy.


crimescopsandmore

Out For Smokes is great. Mike is like Nick for the grown and sexy (gay) crowd. Even Sean McCarthy - one of the least funny and dumbest people alive - brings something to the table.


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Kevykevdicicco

Honestly this is the closest


Sea_Importance9700

Dad meat


pdmd_api

Lemon Party, it's definitely different but Jace, Devan, and Ben can get on some good riffs.


buddybrookhart

Lemon Party is like 3 guys doing cumtown mad libs.


Brunox28mm

I like lemonparty, they got some nice moments in there. But in this context, it's like going from heroin to Methadone or Kratom.


brigaeI

I feel like they try too hard, might give it another chance idk


pdmd_api

I don't disagree, but there's really nothing that can replace OG cumtown.


ALJIZzzEERA

I thought nothing would be as funny as og opie and anthony or Monday morning podcast. But then cumtown was and matt and shane. Just have to find the next new comics. But there's so many podcasts now thats the issue


Klaus224445

I couldn't get into Lemon Party tbh. It feels like they try too hard.


XelaTuobdog

Yeah i feel like in a vacuum it would be funny, but just feels like they're trying too hard to be cumtown


Davethemann

Honestly at this point, that might scratch the itch


soshield

It’s gotten better. The first few months were rough, but they are in a good rhythm now.


ParkdaleP

Devan is the most cringe try hard, can’t listen to that guy for 5 minutes


Klaus224445

Yeah man, they're too straight too imo. Need gay energy in order to laugh


Dkarasta

I’ve given it so many tries, but LP stinks. Ben is fine, but I cannot stand the other two. I usually shut it off when Jace starts doing his Cartman voice. So basically I make it about 30 seconds on avg.


soshield

He stopped doing the cartman voice thankfully


Dkarasta

Don’t fall for it. No one over the age of 30 that does the Cartman voice, stops doing the Cartman voice.


eradicator87

I’ve listened to probably 20 episodes of that podcast because I have nothing better to do at work and it kinda blows. I don’t think I’ve laughed once.


BroccoliSquash

Lemon party is cringe and the hosts are absolute morons.


brynden_rivers

My brain messed up and I read Lemon Demon. Its a cool thing but not remotely related to cumtown, everyone is fucked its not coming back.


Automatic_Actuary375

I tried to get into this, and it was so gay.


VicSeeg89

So you got into then?


AppropriateLaser

The closest thing was years ago on a particularly unhinged comedy bang bang with James Adomian [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNmEejLTEgI](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNmEejLTEgI)


Bravesguy29

Chubby behemoth is extremely good.


JavkNickleson

Here’s an off the beaten path suggestion: The Black Authority with Jason Black. He’s a black from Louisiana who says absolutely wild conspiracy theories against Whites. Every episode he opens the phones up to his audience, and they are all sharecropper blacks who say really dumb shit. One time, he got a barrage of prank calls of White people doing incredibly offensive impressions and many went in stride because they were indistinguishable


sharkbreastfeeding

The Tim Dillon show


Dkarasta

There is truly nothing like it. Time to graduate to the acceptance stage of grief. Closest thing to the “rush” is probably Kill Tony but that’s mostly based on the chaos. MSSP is classic. War Mode is Matt McCusker’s little brother. William Montgomery and Casey Rocket from KT have a pod. Whatever you do, do not trust anyone who says Lemon Party.


csquared34

WTF with Marc maron


eradicator87

What’s up fuckarino


Mountain_Biscotti434

So who are your gays?


donwariophd

Nick’s biological father Mike David has filled the void that Cum Town left behind


dafartster666

In all seriousness, Real Ass Podcast is the one that helps me scratch that itch. Luis is a dumbass, but a he's a hilarious dumbass


never_again13

Zac is a deal breaker. He's really funny, just not for me


brutuscenturian

The only episodes I listen to are when Nick and Adam have a guest and I feel it's because Nick becomes so much more lively when they have a third seat filled. I feel like TAFS kinda has old cumtown energy, when they have a great guest like Sam Talent.


Usual-Ad5989

Have you heard God by John Lennon?


rafshal

cum town was a brief spark of brilliance in the universe… a show brave enough to tackle jews=rats theory, existence of gay retards and so on


nottherealOBT

Old Testament Matt and Shane is the only thing close


sj333386

Red scare


mdoglegend

chapo trap house


awkwardjoe99

based and gay


Kevykevdicicco

Can't think of any but Brian Holtzman's podcast is like a glimpse into Nick's future


totalhhrbadass

The roundtable of gentlemen


XelaTuobdog

Matt and Shane is the closest idc what the other deranged cannibal retards say


Talisker28

E1 can be pretty good. MSSP too. Hit and miss..


Upbeat-Papaya2430

Gay sex


DidAnyoneElseJustCum

I just make sure that by the time I've lapped back around to episode I've killed enough braincells that that feel like new again.


dankmatix

Honestly, I thought I'd hate it, but Ian Fidance's Bein Ian has had me dying. Especially ones with Recine and Sagalow.


suzy-creemcheese

Seeking derangements is genuinely funnier than most of cumtown. it’s best if you’re actually gay, but you don’t have to be for it to be hilarious. pod about list is also really fucking good.


donalddick123

I blame the money. Podcasting was funny when it was just pocketpussies and blue chew advertisements, no one was watching so people said and did whatever they wanted. No one was there to pull ad dollars. There was an old skeptic tank where Tom segura shows ari his botched circumcision. They just made jokes about his half gone foreskin for 10 minutes. No one was listening and no one got mad about it. Tom hasn’t said a funny thing in almost a decade now. 


the_blueberry_funk

Not really similar but Chubby Behemoth is reliably funny which is cool


Logical_Mammoth3600

Chapo trap house


bongo6942069420

Redbar


dipshit10000

Redbar, sign up for the scarsclub and go back to season 18 and start from there.


JoestarJosuke

Try their sister show, Red Bar Radio. Even Nick Millions himself enjoyed them. Give it a year.


csleann30

It’s over bro, listen to This American Life and raise a family


comrade_140

Pendejo time kinda gay


loooneyboy

Let me tell you 50 episodes of lemon party sucked so much ass I just went back to the complete cumtown rss feed


LeeWiserEnvoy

Totally different kind of show, but try watching Redbar if you’ve never seen it. It’s more like an old school radio shock jock format with long streams. There are shorter clips on YouTube. The host Mike is a full-time hater on comedians and podcasters - I think if you liked Cumtown, you’ll appreciate Redbar too.


Ootek_Ohoto

and unlike cumtown the audio levels are always perfect Plenty of clip channels and free eps to get started to see if you like it OP. and if not.. well you know what to do


LimitNo7742

I just got into redbar and have been bingeing the free eps on his website. Pretty sure he’s Mullen’s dad. Artistic weirdo, good at voices, good social commentary, talks about wires and technology, hates pretty much everything except his wife


chair4bozo

I used to listen to redbar way back in the day. His prank calls were hilarious. Actually didn't know he was still active


LeeWiserEnvoy

I only got into it in the past 6 months or so. Mike was apparently really sick for a year recently, and now he’s come back more bizarre than ever lol


keebsec

Pendejo Time and Podcast about List are both good


Humble_Ad_189

I found some homeless vagrants who vaguely resemble the boys. I let them huff gas from my car and then record their conversation to listen to later. Its kinda similar.


druser0

ChapoFYM


prayin4abrick

The river of internet freaks is always flowing


druser0

I wash in it weekly


Radiumgirlz

I mean ive always enjoyed trueanon more


rojm

Brace’s bits honestly hit harder than nick’s these days; along with an interesting topic the pod is just that much more worthwhile.


filmingfisheyes

TrueAnon is legit yo, dead ass fam, like no cap son. It slaps for real straight up. It's in no way comparable to cumtown at all in anyway, however just as a side note, outside of this context about things being similar to cumtown; it is a thoroughly quality podcast. Literally every episode = solid gold.


DespyHasNiceCans

Dad Meat, The End with Ryan Shaner, PITM, Durag and the Deertag, Out For Smokes, LOS, Bein Ian


Sea_Importance9700

Dad meat is consistently very fuckin funny. Ryan shaner is hilarious too. His guests sometimes suck, but he's always entertaining.


PeanutOrganic9174

I hear TAFS is pretty good some gems here and there. Chubby Behemoth, Dudesy, Tim Dillon , Raccoon Tweeties are good. But nothing comes close to the cocaine fuelled pop culture rants and mash ups from ironically racist mastermind , possibly a self hating closeted homosexual Nate Muggy accompanied by his laugh track and his punching bag . Stimros Halabad and Alan Jewish respectively. Nate Muggy is really one of the Greats. I wonder why Joe Rogan hasnt tried to suck his dick yet ?


Puzzled_Fondant_9981

Rock hard talks


MinorThreatCJB

Overnight Drive and A Little Time are great


Rare_String_3259

Take Your Pants Off With Devon Anustart is pretty fun. Devon is also on The Glop Show, both available on archive.org. Use Smart Audiobook Player to keep your spot.


duspot

There is no substitute but since everyone has heard Lemon Party I definitely suggest Leg Day pod. Pat Bolduc was the feature for Ian in Chicago recently and he’s so fucking funny. Definitely has CT vibes.


Stacey_digitaldash

Almost Friday is pretty good but as others have said, what you’re really feeling is nostalgia


Typical_Telephone_98

MSSP is closest. Nothing will ever be close though. I'm fucken gay.


Joshomatic

There can only be one