I always teased my wife I was going to grow a beard, her response was the same as yours. I never really never wanted one so it was no big deal. Then COVID hit and I figured I'd grow one just to fuck with her. About a week into it she asked if I was growing a beard, I smiled and said, "Yup" she rolled her eyes and that was the end of it.
After about 2 months, I got bored of it and shaved it off. After seeing me beardless again, sje said, "Why'd you cut it off, I kinda liked it". So I've had a beard ever since.
Mine doesn't want me to shave, either. Tells me I look like a 20 year old. That sounds fantastic, though - being able to shave off more or less 20 years, haha!
My wife is a couple years older than me, and she has a bit of a thing about how young I look when I'm clean shaven. I'm about to be 36, but she's like "When you shave, you look 20 and it makes me feel like a pedo"... so I'm not allowed to shave my beard. I think the one time in the last few years I shaved fully was because I was trimming my beard freehand and my hand slipped and I gouged out a chunk of my beard nearly down to the skin (like, big swipe mark across my cheek/jawline), so I just ended up getting rid of the whole thing for a few weeks. She was *pissed*.
We went to this exhibition years ago, and it had a security desk for metal detector/bag check. I step through the line, security guard wands me and says "Go ahead, young man." and she actually shuddered in revulsion at him calling me that. It's been like 6 years and she *still* brings it up when I talk about shaving my beard.
Although now I also use it to hide the slight pudginess of my neck, so I'm keeping it for me-reasons as well.
I get exactly that line, my missus gets very uncomfortable and demands I grow it back. Do it bout once a year just to see what's underneath and has it de-teened yet. 44 going 15 apparently.
My FIL shaved his moustache because a grandchild had pointed out the grey hairs in it and discovered he had skin cancer. Caught it early and he was fine. Not a bad idea to check under there every so often.
I bet that grandchild is now the favorite- that or the family is never going to let them live down the time "they told grandpa he had grey hair so he shaved his mustache and found out he had skin cancer."
My wife said we'd divorce if I ever shaved clean. She hates when I trim it too short, so I can't imagine how she'd react if I went bare chin.
Christ I've had this thing for 14 years, and I only decided to grow it because 19/20 year-old me got sick to death of being ID'd at the pubs during my uni stint. Kept it ever since. You could say it grew on me.
A well trimmed light beard is the best. Fully shaven you look like a baby and thick beard thats not taken care of is a caveman. Might approve of fully shaven if youāre already past middle age and wanna look younger.
So, my wife met me while I was still in the service, so shaving was required. Now, I have extreme baby face syndrome. The only real indicator of my age is the over abundance of gray hair on my head. When I got out, I started growing out my facial hair. She really enjoyed it.
Fast forward to this year, I started a new job. This job is wonderful, has decent pay, decent benefits, all the good stuff. But it bores me. My cheeses, does it bore me. When I get bored, I do stupid things. Like pulling out hairs individually. Did it with my hair in high school. This time, I started doing it with my beard. It got to the point I had a very prominent bald patch on my cheek. So I shaved it while everything repairs and regrows.
She's not thrilled. Why? Because on more then one occasion when I have shaved, for one reason or another, someone has made remarks like she 'looks far too young to have a kid as old as I am' or if she was 'taking the kids out for lunch.' My age is actualized with facial hair. I'm still waiting on everything to finish filling in before I start the regrow process, she's still not thrilled. Although I at least look like I'm in my early 20s without it instead of 15-16, so it's an improvement at least.
Hah, I grew a beard over one of the covid lockdowns. I liked it too, my cat loved it, wife didn't like it.
I'm ashamed to say I shaved it even though my cat is my favorite.
My sleep deprived brain for some reason combined the two lines and I read it as "my cat grew a beard" and idk why, but it made me laugh out loud and made my morning better. Thank you!
My husband has had a beard since I met him. I love it! He looks great with it and Iāve never seen him without it so Iām guessing it would be weirdā¦ Either way, some guys are just meant for beards.
My bf will grow it then shave it then grow it then shave it. It gets very uncomfortable for him otherwise I love it. BUT my point is that talk about weird. Weāve been together for 5 years and it took maybe 4 before I stopped being totally shaken when a different dude was suddenly in my house like he had a twin brother I didnāt know well. He never warned me and I seriously grieved every time the beard guy left as if he actually left. It was SO weird! I donāt know why beard guy was my favorite but the other guy felt like the stranger. I mean they are the same guy. Lol.
My dad had a beard my entire life and shaved it off completely randomly one day when I was 7. He walked into the room and I said, āUncle ___, what are you doing here?ā because I thought he was his brother.
There are a lot of videos of kids seeing their dads for the fist time without a beard and it doesnāt always go over well. So I know Iām not crazyā¦ maybe I should look up *adults* seeing their husbands/bfs for the first time just to make sureā¦
This makes sense. After about day 5, beard guy is back for however long he keeps growing it. Then, bam, beard guy is gone and the other guy is back but only for about 5 or so days. Growing a beard happens gradually but shaving it is sudden.
I shave probably 4-5 times a year so there's probably only about a month or so every year that I'm not beard guy. That guy is a stranger to me!
My dad shaved off his beard one summer after having it for 20 years. My gran has often said she missed his clean shaven face. She said afterwards she has been planning to ask him to shave it off on her deathbed and she's glad she didn't now. It was genuinely bizarre to see him without a beard.
As a dude able to grow a very full beard, the bigger it is the more compliments I get. Pretty much only from men, but most women I've dated also like it so there's kinda no downside as long as I'm ok with never seeing my face again
This is how I ended up with long hair full time. Decided to grow it long just to see for the first time in my life. Get lots of compliments from women when I never had compliments of any kind before. Stuck with long hair
I'm not one to ask another man to see his dick...
What is your rate of success impressing people with this injury? Is it reproducible? There's a whole industry waiting for you to turn your workplace accident into snake oil.
It comes with its own challenges, surely. Peeing can be a hassle in public toilets and it certainty looksā¦different. But apparently it bends and curls in a way that made my bedroom performance 10x better, no credit to me. If you have a friends with a forklift and a concrete wall we can recreate the situation that caused it.
Iām certainly no swinging maestro but Iāve been fortunate that the novelty alone interests women and word tends to get around when itās not only different looking but satisfying. I swear I wasnāt even good at sex before this happened, probably average to meh but for reasons the women have explained, it just works. Edit - and honestly the fuck up was on my coworkers part so I donāt really have a tifu considering I got a decent payout for my damages and apparently a more enjoyable yet abhorrent looking dong
Where would one even post about a jacked up penis? Iām wondering if there are other people with similar situations and it would be nice to know theyāre not alone. The more I think about it the more I feel I could/should leverage my powers for good.
Is there any chance you would post a picture? I am extremely curious. Based on the description I can't not ask.
I... don't ask random people to see their genitals, I promise you. This is a first.
I respect you for asking but Iām not exactly comfortable showing the internet my dick. I replied to the wrong person so I deleted what was meant to be my original reply to you saying, itās certainly a distinct and recognizable penis so Iām afraid it would be seen by people I know or asked about by future partners. But as I said in another comment, maybe for charity? That could be justifiable perhaps.
I'm not even super interested, but I'd donate to a charity drive for this. I think we could easily raise 2 thousand dollars. Maybe have goal markers like, once we raise 500, we get to see a stick figure sketch. Any person who donates more than 300 gets a snap chat video. Etc.
I was in a dark place for a while. Thankfully I had a girlfriend (ex now) at the time who was kind enough to see me through my recovery not knowing if Iād gain full function again. And I honestly hate to be that guy but I stumbled upon lectures about identity from Ram Dass and that shit hit me right in n the sweet spot and totally shifted my view of who I am, dick or no dick. After I accepted I may never have a working dick again, trooper came back stronger than ever. Iām not saying thatās because of Ram Dass, but this whole experience brought me into a new stage of peace and joy in life. Itās the strangest and most wonderful thing I couldāve ever imagined.
If balding, just shave. I pulled the trigger on this about 6 months ago and enjoying bald life, even though I can still grow decent hair, it was starting to receed and thin at the top so just got rid of it before it started looking really bad.
Get lots of compliments on the new look. I even got called Kratos which felt pretty good ngl.
Having to wash my long thick curly hair during winter ended up being too much for me, took forever and ran out of hot water rinsing it, so back to the men's short undercut and I couldn't be happier.
Though yes, long hair gets lots of compliments from ladies.
I grew my hair out for the same reason. Had short hair my whole life, said "what the hell, let's see what happens". I have had multiple women and men tell me I look like Loki. It's to the point where I hear that comparison at least once a month. I'm not sure if it's a compliment, but I like to think it is.
š š š same same. Curls have been coming out. Even if the compliments are just about the novelty against my old buzz cut, some are better than none so..
This is a bummer of working at a chem plant. Not allowed to have a beard because I need to be able to make a clean seal with a fresh air mask in case of emergency.
Oh yeah, no, I think I've only ever been complimented by and given compliments to other dudes, now that I think about it. I can't imagine women like beards the way men like beards.
\*Edit: I didn't say women don't like beards. I said women don't like beards THE WAY men like beards.
When I see a magnificent beard.. and I mean one so good that I'm gonna give this dude a compliment, I'm only thinking about how it would look on my face.. how it would be part of my trimming and maintenance routine.. how the beard loving ladies must be flashing him those lusty eyes..
I imagine *that* is how men think of beards, and was asserting that I can't imagine women like beards the way men like beards
I once had a woman stop mid sentence in a corporate meeting, staring at my beard and so me if I dyed it because she loved the colors. My beard is a blend of black brown, red & blond(and some grey & white these days). I confirmed that I do not due my beard and she continued with her point.
My wife doesnāt like when I shave my beard. Itās full grown. I cut it down to like half inch and she cried. Yes. She cried. I keep it full grown now. I donāt so much care for it but it doesnāt bother me and she like it. š¤·āāļø
My trimmer head slipped one time when I was trimming and I had to shave it all the way down, my wife also cried, and couldn't look at me for days, it was miserable.
I have so many (female) friends who love beards but not me. Unless heās *meticulous* about grooming it, all I can think about is what must be caught in there. š¤¢
Yep...I can't grow a decent beard to save my life, and my mustache abilities are even worse.
My dad almost always had a beard, and would've gone full mountain man if my mom let him (although she did allow him to grow it out occasionally for contests). I still remember being a four year old and totally losing my shit the first time I saw him clean shaven.
Nearly 50 years later I have a total man crush on a co-worker's glorious beard.
And I'd bet this is the most compliments he's received about himself in his entire life. Guys thrive on positive affirmation because we so rarely get any. That thing isn't coming off nor should it.
Which is fine with me: if a woman appreciates my beard, nice. If she doesn't, then it's not *for* her. My beard is for me, and for anyone that appreciates seeing it. By that same token, when I see a rad beard in the wild, I'll appreciate and often compliment it.
C'mon boys, we need to normalise compliments to each other, and look after each other the way ladies do.
"Sick beard mate!ā or "Digging the Viking hair pal!" or "Nice cock bro!"
But for real, we also need to remember that it's okay to not be okay. Call ya mates. If you notice they're feeling a bit down lately, check in. Mental health matters.
Man, the only compliments I get are from dudes. Maybe chicks don't dig the "teddy bear" look as much as guys do. The closest thing I've gotten to a compliment from women in the last few years was a girl saying that her gay friend thought I was hot. Which is nice I guess.
This same basic quote popped into my head earlier today. Only reason I can think of is a coworker shaved his beard last week and I've only seen him twice since he shaved it.
When you said :
"Then I got pregnant.
My hormones went wild and when I was about 6 months along,"
I thought you were going to say something like: " I started to notice I had more facial hair than usual, and now I am the one with the beard".
And every time it gets unkempt it's like your dealer coming to collect. I could never grow a nice full long beard but I look 12 and ridiculous without any facial hair, so I'm happy to lightly trim every couple weeks
Did you recently retire from the military? That was my wifes reaction when I retired.
Me: I'm retired no more shaving
Her: but your handsome face
Me: It'll be better with a beard
I banned myself from shaving it off. I did it on Halloween last yearā¦ I didnāt realize how much I aged during COVID because once it was off I realized I look like the spitting male image of my mom. >! I canāt stand my mom !<
TIFU and told him his bread was getting out of control. Now he has a chin long mustache and a soul patch. It's terrible. I don't even want to go in public with him. I should've kept my mouth shut.
It takes a very specific face AND mustache shape to look nice. You really need to be able to grow a full thick one if you don't want it to look silly lol
I had the opposite happen. Had a beard when I met my wife. I shaved it once as a little prank. She made me* swear to never do it again.
(*Requisite internet disclaimer: she didn't really "make me" do anything; just expressed a preference we both agree on to this day)
This may not be your problem, but after a certain length, mine looks awful if I don't occasionally even it up and keep a regular grooming regimen. It's way easier to just trim it to a manageable length once a month, so that's what I do.
Evening it up does help but it's just the color and texture that looks bad
Sometimes it looks like bronze or ginger and it's not curly but not straight
When I have stubble it looks good
If you dislike the feeling, I suggest recommending a high quality beard regime for him. I've seen people who condition and use oils and their beards end up being super soft and actually pretty nice.
If he's going to keep it, he should maintain it to highest degree.
Oh my god YES. Badly maintained long hair looks so much worse than badly maintained short hair. If youāre not going to take care of it and it looks shitty, why even have it?
>If youāre not going to take care of it and it looks shitty, why even have it?
Because my step daughter and wife might murder me in my sleep if i cut it, so i put as little maintenance as i can stand to try and convince them both to let me cut it off. Then again i just wash it and i get complimented on it all the time so long as i let it down so I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong
Sounds like yours doesnāt look shitty, despite your best efforts to the contrary.
But seriously, if the upkeep is too much of a pain in the ass and you donāt like having it, cut it off. Donāt ask permission. Theyāll get over it.
I'm surprised it doesn't look shitty since the only thing I do is shampoo it and condition it, then brush it so I'm not sure how to make it look shittier
I think when it reaches my lower lower back I'll either cut it or trim it. I'm lazy though so I'll see if it actually gets done by then or it reaches my knees first
Oh, you could do WAY worse. Switch to a 2-in-1 shampoo/conditioner, or better yet, skip conditioner altogether and wash with something super harsh like Dr. Bronner's or the blue Suave shampoo. Or go water-only no-poo and be a grease ball. Don't go to a hairdresser for a trim, follow a Youtube tutorialāpoorly, with kitchen scissors. Do not brush it, or when you do, only do it super aggressively from the top down with a very stiff paddle brush.
Or, you know, just cut your hair to a length you like instead of doing petty passive-aggressive shit ;)
I like petty since it goes along with my MO of laziness, and i usually use 2-1 shampoo, even 3-1 :D
Haven't been to a hairdresser in 4 years now, so I'm good with that. Same with the paddle brush
I'm taking notes, though, so feel free to add more
Weaponize your laziness and go to a salon for a blowout every week. Shouldnāt be more than $30-40 and itās well worth it. When your wife and daughter see how nice your hair is relative to theirs, their jealousy will propel them into demanding you cut it off.
Beard shampoo (you can find shampoos that work for this and the hair on your head), beard conditioner (same as shampoo), beard balm, and beard oil are a must if you want your shit to look good, feel good, and also not get a bunch of zits or irritation from growing it raw. Mine is just touching my stomach/top of my abs, no intention of cutting until it reaches my belt, which is at least another 2-3 yrs. My girl loves it, but I take care of it. It's just like keeping the hair on your head nice, just requires its own regimen since it's a diff kind of hair.
https://preview.redd.it/785c79w0o33b1.jpeg?width=2208&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=88758ee569fe3e628728909051e5f1f797d79b1a
Needs a trim bc the first 4-5 inches are from before I stopped trimming the sides (super thin). But no trim even until it reaches my belt.
Edit: this is between 26-27 months.
I love it and am dedicated to it. And it causes so many problems/presents challenges only had by those with a long beard. I've gotten it way too close to fire/stove burners for my own good. It has a high learning curve to not light yourself up or get your shit caught in zippers, buttons, and doors, amongst other things. Never give up, never surrender, keep your magnificent facial hair going.
This. My first go round of having a beard and I had no idea how to care for it. My buddy was drunk one day and grabbed and goes āEEWWW that feels like Santa Clauses beard.ā
From then on I started using conditioners and beard oils and the ladies donāt mind at all. In fact when I get dates and we talk about the bit of first attraction they almost always say, āYeah so youāve got a great beard.ā
I am not a handsome man, so I use what god gave me.
This happened with my partner. Itās been 3 years and itās down to the middle of his chest. It actually makes me so mad but I know itās his face so I canāt say much.
You are allowed to voice your preferences. I'm sure he wants you to like him a lot too. Just keep things constructive, and acknowledge who has actual agency, Use "I" statements ('I miss seeing your face' as opposed to 'You need to shave asap').
My wife doesnāt mind my beard. She just canāt stand it when it gets long and I start looking āhomelessā.
Maybe strike a balance with a well groomed beard?
You and my wife are polar opposites. I always joke that if I shaved my beard, she'd divorce me. It's only half a joke.
It's been 10 years and two kids. She's never seen me with a clean shaven face and likely never will. If I do shave, it'll be a handlebar mustache. She'll never ever see me with a clean shaven face.
Also, don't tell your husband about one of the greatest bands in the world: The Beards.
I love my partners beard. He shaved it off last summer and it was the worst. Kissing him was so rough and painful unless he shaves every morning which is a lot for his skin. We both agreed never again lol and the beard is back in full force.
I used to have the same no beard stance, but Iāve been with my boyfriend for 3 years now who has always had a beard. The first and ONLY man Iāve ever been attracted to with one and Iād be so sad if he got rid of it. Just needs a nice trim to keep it tidy. :)
Imagine if the roles were reversed here and he was telling you how to cut your hair. It's his beard and his choice. Yes he probably should take the opinion of his wife into account, but at the end of the day it's his beard
Man, what is it with pregnant women and beards? The same thing happened when my mom was pregnant with me. I think my dad wanted to shave it and she was afraid I wouldn't recognize him anymore, but he shaved it off and I still knew who he was lol.
He'll probably end up shaving it at some point again anyway.
I'm pretty jealous though. A good beard could change someone. Wish I could grow one to hide half of my ugliness but it's currently not happening for me. Maybe one day.
Lol my first ex oof I said I liked beards and he grew one out for me!! Loved it a lot, his grandma hated it and he wouldnāt shave it still makes me blush š³šš sorry it turned into a mess for you!! However if he likes it just let him have it, how would you feel if he only liked pixi cut? ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
Ahh yesss the beard dilemma. I'm lucky enough to grow a bad ass one, but it requires maintenance. Barber trips, bear oil etc. When the hassle / winter comes i cut it back. Although I will say I get a hell of a lot more attention with a bigger one then a short one. Then I go long and feel old so I go back to short.
I haven't shaved my face since I was 17. Wife has only ever seen pictures in my mother's house of me clean shaven. At 46, this is forever. You can't stop the beard once it has begun. Worship the beard. Love it.
I always teased my wife I was going to grow a beard, her response was the same as yours. I never really never wanted one so it was no big deal. Then COVID hit and I figured I'd grow one just to fuck with her. About a week into it she asked if I was growing a beard, I smiled and said, "Yup" she rolled her eyes and that was the end of it. After about 2 months, I got bored of it and shaved it off. After seeing me beardless again, sje said, "Why'd you cut it off, I kinda liked it". So I've had a beard ever since.
Mine doesn't want me to shave, either. Tells me I look like a 20 year old. That sounds fantastic, though - being able to shave off more or less 20 years, haha!
My wife is a couple years older than me, and she has a bit of a thing about how young I look when I'm clean shaven. I'm about to be 36, but she's like "When you shave, you look 20 and it makes me feel like a pedo"... so I'm not allowed to shave my beard. I think the one time in the last few years I shaved fully was because I was trimming my beard freehand and my hand slipped and I gouged out a chunk of my beard nearly down to the skin (like, big swipe mark across my cheek/jawline), so I just ended up getting rid of the whole thing for a few weeks. She was *pissed*. We went to this exhibition years ago, and it had a security desk for metal detector/bag check. I step through the line, security guard wands me and says "Go ahead, young man." and she actually shuddered in revulsion at him calling me that. It's been like 6 years and she *still* brings it up when I talk about shaving my beard. Although now I also use it to hide the slight pudginess of my neck, so I'm keeping it for me-reasons as well.
I get exactly that line, my missus gets very uncomfortable and demands I grow it back. Do it bout once a year just to see what's underneath and has it de-teened yet. 44 going 15 apparently.
My FIL shaved his moustache because a grandchild had pointed out the grey hairs in it and discovered he had skin cancer. Caught it early and he was fine. Not a bad idea to check under there every so often.
I bet that grandchild is now the favorite- that or the family is never going to let them live down the time "they told grandpa he had grey hair so he shaved his mustache and found out he had skin cancer."
Same! I can go from adult man to teenager with wrinkly eyes in a minute.
"teenager with wrinkly eyes". Love it
Whole reason I grew a short beard was to age me up a bit. š
My wife said we'd divorce if I ever shaved clean. She hates when I trim it too short, so I can't imagine how she'd react if I went bare chin. Christ I've had this thing for 14 years, and I only decided to grow it because 19/20 year-old me got sick to death of being ID'd at the pubs during my uni stint. Kept it ever since. You could say it grew on me.
A well trimmed light beard is the best. Fully shaven you look like a baby and thick beard thats not taken care of is a caveman. Might approve of fully shaven if youāre already past middle age and wanna look younger.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Same here, my wife feels like I'm too young for her if I shave.
So, my wife met me while I was still in the service, so shaving was required. Now, I have extreme baby face syndrome. The only real indicator of my age is the over abundance of gray hair on my head. When I got out, I started growing out my facial hair. She really enjoyed it. Fast forward to this year, I started a new job. This job is wonderful, has decent pay, decent benefits, all the good stuff. But it bores me. My cheeses, does it bore me. When I get bored, I do stupid things. Like pulling out hairs individually. Did it with my hair in high school. This time, I started doing it with my beard. It got to the point I had a very prominent bald patch on my cheek. So I shaved it while everything repairs and regrows. She's not thrilled. Why? Because on more then one occasion when I have shaved, for one reason or another, someone has made remarks like she 'looks far too young to have a kid as old as I am' or if she was 'taking the kids out for lunch.' My age is actualized with facial hair. I'm still waiting on everything to finish filling in before I start the regrow process, she's still not thrilled. Although I at least look like I'm in my early 20s without it instead of 15-16, so it's an improvement at least.
Have you seen a therapist about your trichotillomania?
Hah, I grew a beard over one of the covid lockdowns. I liked it too, my cat loved it, wife didn't like it. I'm ashamed to say I shaved it even though my cat is my favorite.
My sleep deprived brain for some reason combined the two lines and I read it as "my cat grew a beard" and idk why, but it made me laugh out loud and made my morning better. Thank you!
My husband has had a beard since I met him. I love it! He looks great with it and Iāve never seen him without it so Iām guessing it would be weirdā¦ Either way, some guys are just meant for beards.
My bf will grow it then shave it then grow it then shave it. It gets very uncomfortable for him otherwise I love it. BUT my point is that talk about weird. Weāve been together for 5 years and it took maybe 4 before I stopped being totally shaken when a different dude was suddenly in my house like he had a twin brother I didnāt know well. He never warned me and I seriously grieved every time the beard guy left as if he actually left. It was SO weird! I donāt know why beard guy was my favorite but the other guy felt like the stranger. I mean they are the same guy. Lol.
My dad had a beard my entire life and shaved it off completely randomly one day when I was 7. He walked into the room and I said, āUncle ___, what are you doing here?ā because I thought he was his brother.
There are a lot of videos of kids seeing their dads for the fist time without a beard and it doesnāt always go over well. So I know Iām not crazyā¦ maybe I should look up *adults* seeing their husbands/bfs for the first time just to make sureā¦
My husband grew a beard once, after a few months started saying he's gonna shave. I shrieked when I saw him...
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This makes sense. After about day 5, beard guy is back for however long he keeps growing it. Then, bam, beard guy is gone and the other guy is back but only for about 5 or so days. Growing a beard happens gradually but shaving it is sudden. I shave probably 4-5 times a year so there's probably only about a month or so every year that I'm not beard guy. That guy is a stranger to me!
My dad shaved off his beard one summer after having it for 20 years. My gran has often said she missed his clean shaven face. She said afterwards she has been planning to ask him to shave it off on her deathbed and she's glad she didn't now. It was genuinely bizarre to see him without a beard.
100% chance heās getting way too many compliments on the beard to shave it now.
As a dude able to grow a very full beard, the bigger it is the more compliments I get. Pretty much only from men, but most women I've dated also like it so there's kinda no downside as long as I'm ok with never seeing my face again
This is how I ended up with long hair full time. Decided to grow it long just to see for the first time in my life. Get lots of compliments from women when I never had compliments of any kind before. Stuck with long hair
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I'm not one to ask another man to see his dick... What is your rate of success impressing people with this injury? Is it reproducible? There's a whole industry waiting for you to turn your workplace accident into snake oil.
It comes with its own challenges, surely. Peeing can be a hassle in public toilets and it certainty looksā¦different. But apparently it bends and curls in a way that made my bedroom performance 10x better, no credit to me. If you have a friends with a forklift and a concrete wall we can recreate the situation that caused it.
The sad thing is that if you convinced the recipients of such a penis to write testimonials, I bet someone would do it lol.
Testicle-moanialls š
Teste-monials*
Teste-moan-y'alls
We talking the wielders or the users?
The users, I think? those who posses the necessary genitalia to receive a penis
It sounds like there is a TIFU post that is yet to be written (apparently with lots of happy endings?)
Iām certainly no swinging maestro but Iāve been fortunate that the novelty alone interests women and word tends to get around when itās not only different looking but satisfying. I swear I wasnāt even good at sex before this happened, probably average to meh but for reasons the women have explained, it just works. Edit - and honestly the fuck up was on my coworkers part so I donāt really have a tifu considering I got a decent payout for my damages and apparently a more enjoyable yet abhorrent looking dong
I still think this story needs its own post. But please no pictures.
Where would one even post about a jacked up penis? Iām wondering if there are other people with similar situations and it would be nice to know theyāre not alone. The more I think about it the more I feel I could/should leverage my powers for good.
Pics or it didnāt happen! Just kidding.
Now wondering if thereās a user u/PM_ME_PIG_TAIL_DICKS Because of course that would be a thing. Rule 34 and all.
Your TIFU would be announcing this to Reddit because RIP your inbox.
You need to get into the dildo game, my dude. Make a mold and start sellin'!
So I know you said it can be recreated, and not that I want to, but I am genuinely curious how and what really happened.
Umm research purposes yada yadaā¦mmmā¦š„ŗšš plzthankuuu
Dude wtf am I reading
I totally forgot this whole post was about a beard or something š
I've never been more disappointed to click on a profile and not have the NSFW banner come up.
Saved me a click. Ain't no shame either. Curiosity for curiosity's sake.
Itās my dick and Iād be shocked if people didnāt check, no shame.
Let us not forget the disappointment of double dick dude. The man... the myth... just a myth.
Fuck that I'll ask for you hold up
Is there any chance you would post a picture? I am extremely curious. Based on the description I can't not ask. I... don't ask random people to see their genitals, I promise you. This is a first.
I respect you for asking but Iām not exactly comfortable showing the internet my dick. I replied to the wrong person so I deleted what was meant to be my original reply to you saying, itās certainly a distinct and recognizable penis so Iām afraid it would be seen by people I know or asked about by future partners. But as I said in another comment, maybe for charity? That could be justifiable perhaps.
I'm not even super interested, but I'd donate to a charity drive for this. I think we could easily raise 2 thousand dollars. Maybe have goal markers like, once we raise 500, we get to see a stick figure sketch. Any person who donates more than 300 gets a snap chat video. Etc.
Totally cool
Draw a sketch of it or a depiction in ms paint lol
Dude's dick is gonna be huge on reddit.
I'm not sure if it's any better that you're telling that person "I don't ask everyone to see their genitals, just you" lol
... yeah, in retrospect, I can see that being kinda weird.
About as believable as "I never do this on a first date" lol.. Gotta make a dude feel special..
This is going to be in Reddit lore for 2023
Especially with the people trying to organize a charity for a photo
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Some kind of crazy origin story I think. *Dickman*
Iām sure it was horrifying at the time - but you win at making lemonade from lifeās lemons, my friend.
I was in a dark place for a while. Thankfully I had a girlfriend (ex now) at the time who was kind enough to see me through my recovery not knowing if Iād gain full function again. And I honestly hate to be that guy but I stumbled upon lectures about identity from Ram Dass and that shit hit me right in n the sweet spot and totally shifted my view of who I am, dick or no dick. After I accepted I may never have a working dick again, trooper came back stronger than ever. Iām not saying thatās because of Ram Dass, but this whole experience brought me into a new stage of peace and joy in life. Itās the strangest and most wonderful thing I couldāve ever imagined.
How has no one tried securing the rights to this movie yet? I can practically see and hear the trailer in my mind.
āBe here nowā is the shit, love Ram Dass.
Yeah...You're gonna have to post your corkscrew pig penis for reddit now buddy sorry. The people want what thr people want lol
Call that the mallard.
The people have demanded to hear the deets!
Just shared how it happened in a comment above if you desire
I'm sorry to bother you but I've combed through this section of the thread twice now & I can't find it. Halp?
\#CasualPigtailDick
i was here on this day.
Beard and long hair, there is no downside. Edit: don't be balding with long hair.
If balding, just shave. I pulled the trigger on this about 6 months ago and enjoying bald life, even though I can still grow decent hair, it was starting to receed and thin at the top so just got rid of it before it started looking really bad. Get lots of compliments on the new look. I even got called Kratos which felt pretty good ngl.
"You can't quit; you're fired!" Same. Once it starts to thin, just pull the trigger.
If you are fat and balding it's not a great look, thin makes you a wizard, muscular? Klingon or viking depending on nerd levels. Fat? Hillfolk
~~touche~~ toupee
Having to wash my long thick curly hair during winter ended up being too much for me, took forever and ran out of hot water rinsing it, so back to the men's short undercut and I couldn't be happier. Though yes, long hair gets lots of compliments from ladies.
I grew my hair out for the same reason. Had short hair my whole life, said "what the hell, let's see what happens". I have had multiple women and men tell me I look like Loki. It's to the point where I hear that comparison at least once a month. I'm not sure if it's a compliment, but I like to think it is.
It's definitely a compliment.
š š š same same. Curls have been coming out. Even if the compliments are just about the novelty against my old buzz cut, some are better than none so..
This is a bummer of working at a chem plant. Not allowed to have a beard because I need to be able to make a clean seal with a fresh air mask in case of emergency.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Oh yeah, no, I think I've only ever been complimented by and given compliments to other dudes, now that I think about it. I can't imagine women like beards the way men like beards. \*Edit: I didn't say women don't like beards. I said women don't like beards THE WAY men like beards. When I see a magnificent beard.. and I mean one so good that I'm gonna give this dude a compliment, I'm only thinking about how it would look on my face.. how it would be part of my trimming and maintenance routine.. how the beard loving ladies must be flashing him those lusty eyes.. I imagine *that* is how men think of beards, and was asserting that I can't imagine women like beards the way men like beards
I once had a woman stop mid sentence in a corporate meeting, staring at my beard and so me if I dyed it because she loved the colors. My beard is a blend of black brown, red & blond(and some grey & white these days). I confirmed that I do not due my beard and she continued with her point.
I'm a woman and I LOVE beards. I love a good beard. Beards all round. Beards.
A woman?! Ahh! Cheese it!!!
Don't worry theres no such thing as girls on the internet
My wife doesnāt like when I shave my beard. Itās full grown. I cut it down to like half inch and she cried. Yes. She cried. I keep it full grown now. I donāt so much care for it but it doesnāt bother me and she like it. š¤·āāļø
My trimmer head slipped one time when I was trimming and I had to shave it all the way down, my wife also cried, and couldn't look at me for days, it was miserable.
The one time it slipped was on the mustache. I couldnāt look at myself for days š
I have so many (female) friends who love beards but not me. Unless heās *meticulous* about grooming it, all I can think about is what must be caught in there. š¤¢
That's valid. I'm probably two birds short of a Peter Griffin myself š¤£
Omg I think they are so gross. A really trimmed one I can stand but that's about it.
The last time I shaved my dad was looking back at me from the mirror. I never want to see my face again
Yep...I can't grow a decent beard to save my life, and my mustache abilities are even worse. My dad almost always had a beard, and would've gone full mountain man if my mom let him (although she did allow him to grow it out occasionally for contests). I still remember being a four year old and totally losing my shit the first time I saw him clean shaven. Nearly 50 years later I have a total man crush on a co-worker's glorious beard.
And I'd bet this is the most compliments he's received about himself in his entire life. Guys thrive on positive affirmation because we so rarely get any. That thing isn't coming off nor should it.
In my experience the only people who compliment beards are other dudes.
Hey, those compliments still feel good though. Worth it.
Which is fine with me: if a woman appreciates my beard, nice. If she doesn't, then it's not *for* her. My beard is for me, and for anyone that appreciates seeing it. By that same token, when I see a rad beard in the wild, I'll appreciate and often compliment it.
C'mon boys, we need to normalise compliments to each other, and look after each other the way ladies do. "Sick beard mate!ā or "Digging the Viking hair pal!" or "Nice cock bro!" But for real, we also need to remember that it's okay to not be okay. Call ya mates. If you notice they're feeling a bit down lately, check in. Mental health matters.
Man, the only compliments I get are from dudes. Maybe chicks don't dig the "teddy bear" look as much as guys do. The closest thing I've gotten to a compliment from women in the last few years was a girl saying that her gay friend thought I was hot. Which is nice I guess.
You don't choose the beard, the beard chooses you.
āIf a man shaves his beard for the woman, he deserves neither the woman nor the beard.ā - some old guy
This same basic quote popped into my head earlier today. Only reason I can think of is a coworker shaved his beard last week and I've only seen him twice since he shaved it.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I need this, as a sign, in my bathroom. Trademark this, it's gold, gold.
Seems like a dude version of "live laugh love" or something a wife gets her bisexual husband.
When you said : "Then I got pregnant. My hormones went wild and when I was about 6 months along," I thought you were going to say something like: " I started to notice I had more facial hair than usual, and now I am the one with the beard".
https://imgflip.com/i/7nqslv
I like your sense of humor. Lol.
Not having to shave everyday is a hell of a drug!!
And every time it gets unkempt it's like your dealer coming to collect. I could never grow a nice full long beard but I look 12 and ridiculous without any facial hair, so I'm happy to lightly trim every couple weeks
Spent 20 hears in a job that required a clean shave every day. Not doing that anymore is amazing, and my wife is not too happy about it.
Did you recently retire from the military? That was my wifes reaction when I retired. Me: I'm retired no more shaving Her: but your handsome face Me: It'll be better with a beard
I did yeah. And she's had PLENTY of warning that this was going to happen. My face wasnt handsome , but she just doesn't like beards.
My family has banned me from shaving mine off.
I banned myself from shaving it off. I did it on Halloween last yearā¦ I didnāt realize how much I aged during COVID because once it was off I realized I look like the spitting male image of my mom. >! I canāt stand my mom !<
I look like my dad. My mum has Alzheimer's and I'm her primary care. The minute she starts calling me a fucking bastard I'll be shaving it off.
Every time my wife complained about my beard, I offered to shave it and just have a mustache. She doesn't comment anymore.
lol! Clever
TIFU and told him his bread was getting out of control. Now he has a chin long mustache and a soul patch. It's terrible. I don't even want to go in public with him. I should've kept my mouth shut.
So long as he wears a beard net at the bakery, it will all settle down again
Donāt know what sheās on about, mustacheās are sexy af.
It takes a very specific face AND mustache shape to look nice. You really need to be able to grow a full thick one if you don't want it to look silly lol
Haha not on my head...
I had the opposite happen. Had a beard when I met my wife. I shaved it once as a little prank. She made me* swear to never do it again. (*Requisite internet disclaimer: she didn't really "make me" do anything; just expressed a preference we both agree on to this day)
Just get pregnant again
Her husband has a magnificent beard. She's probably already pregnant again.
Maybe grow a beard with him and share his interest
Leg beard, armpit beard, other options tooā¦
Hairy bits are natural, seals in the flavor (I'm sorry)
[Here's](https://youtu.be/KlgbKIswpzI) an educational video from some friendly Aussies. Yours sincerely, A bearded man
Well, that escalated quickly.
My personal favourite is [if your dad doesn't have a beard you've got two mums](https://youtu.be/RmFnarFSj_U)
This is why I am on reddit, to find these gems ;) Thank you.
wow
I knew what this was going to be before clicking. God 10 years seems so recent
Embrace the beard. Live the beard. Love the beard. Because once you go beard, anything else is weird.
Does he at least look objectively good with it and it's well kept? My facial hair looks awful after a certain length
This may not be your problem, but after a certain length, mine looks awful if I don't occasionally even it up and keep a regular grooming regimen. It's way easier to just trim it to a manageable length once a month, so that's what I do.
Evening it up does help but it's just the color and texture that looks bad Sometimes it looks like bronze or ginger and it's not curly but not straight When I have stubble it looks good
If you dislike the feeling, I suggest recommending a high quality beard regime for him. I've seen people who condition and use oils and their beards end up being super soft and actually pretty nice. If he's going to keep it, he should maintain it to highest degree.
This should also go for dudes with long hair! I see way too many dudes with bad, long hair.
Oh my god YES. Badly maintained long hair looks so much worse than badly maintained short hair. If youāre not going to take care of it and it looks shitty, why even have it?
>If youāre not going to take care of it and it looks shitty, why even have it? Because my step daughter and wife might murder me in my sleep if i cut it, so i put as little maintenance as i can stand to try and convince them both to let me cut it off. Then again i just wash it and i get complimented on it all the time so long as i let it down so I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong
Sounds like yours doesnāt look shitty, despite your best efforts to the contrary. But seriously, if the upkeep is too much of a pain in the ass and you donāt like having it, cut it off. Donāt ask permission. Theyāll get over it.
I'm surprised it doesn't look shitty since the only thing I do is shampoo it and condition it, then brush it so I'm not sure how to make it look shittier I think when it reaches my lower lower back I'll either cut it or trim it. I'm lazy though so I'll see if it actually gets done by then or it reaches my knees first
Oh, you could do WAY worse. Switch to a 2-in-1 shampoo/conditioner, or better yet, skip conditioner altogether and wash with something super harsh like Dr. Bronner's or the blue Suave shampoo. Or go water-only no-poo and be a grease ball. Don't go to a hairdresser for a trim, follow a Youtube tutorialāpoorly, with kitchen scissors. Do not brush it, or when you do, only do it super aggressively from the top down with a very stiff paddle brush. Or, you know, just cut your hair to a length you like instead of doing petty passive-aggressive shit ;)
I like petty since it goes along with my MO of laziness, and i usually use 2-1 shampoo, even 3-1 :D Haven't been to a hairdresser in 4 years now, so I'm good with that. Same with the paddle brush I'm taking notes, though, so feel free to add more
Weaponize your laziness and go to a salon for a blowout every week. Shouldnāt be more than $30-40 and itās well worth it. When your wife and daughter see how nice your hair is relative to theirs, their jealousy will propel them into demanding you cut it off.
Donate it to charity. They can't be mad at that
Beard shampoo (you can find shampoos that work for this and the hair on your head), beard conditioner (same as shampoo), beard balm, and beard oil are a must if you want your shit to look good, feel good, and also not get a bunch of zits or irritation from growing it raw. Mine is just touching my stomach/top of my abs, no intention of cutting until it reaches my belt, which is at least another 2-3 yrs. My girl loves it, but I take care of it. It's just like keeping the hair on your head nice, just requires its own regimen since it's a diff kind of hair.
Now you gotta show the beard man
https://preview.redd.it/785c79w0o33b1.jpeg?width=2208&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=88758ee569fe3e628728909051e5f1f797d79b1a Needs a trim bc the first 4-5 inches are from before I stopped trimming the sides (super thin). But no trim even until it reaches my belt. Edit: this is between 26-27 months.
Viking status confirmed
Iām a few months in but thatās some mad lad shit.
I love it and am dedicated to it. And it causes so many problems/presents challenges only had by those with a long beard. I've gotten it way too close to fire/stove burners for my own good. It has a high learning curve to not light yourself up or get your shit caught in zippers, buttons, and doors, amongst other things. Never give up, never surrender, keep your magnificent facial hair going.
This. My first go round of having a beard and I had no idea how to care for it. My buddy was drunk one day and grabbed and goes āEEWWW that feels like Santa Clauses beard.ā From then on I started using conditioners and beard oils and the ladies donāt mind at all. In fact when I get dates and we talk about the bit of first attraction they almost always say, āYeah so youāve got a great beard.ā I am not a handsome man, so I use what god gave me.
I donāt care how pregnant my wife gets she will never see my chin
Men dream of growing a beard most men fear finding out we can't.
āLettingā. Ha
The duality of women.
Switch the genders and it's a man trying to control his wife's body.
This happened with my partner. Itās been 3 years and itās down to the middle of his chest. It actually makes me so mad but I know itās his face so I canāt say much.
You are allowed to voice your preferences. I'm sure he wants you to like him a lot too. Just keep things constructive, and acknowledge who has actual agency, Use "I" statements ('I miss seeing your face' as opposed to 'You need to shave asap').
My wife doesnāt mind my beard. She just canāt stand it when it gets long and I start looking āhomelessā. Maybe strike a balance with a well groomed beard?
You and my wife are polar opposites. I always joke that if I shaved my beard, she'd divorce me. It's only half a joke. It's been 10 years and two kids. She's never seen me with a clean shaven face and likely never will. If I do shave, it'll be a handlebar mustache. She'll never ever see me with a clean shaven face. Also, don't tell your husband about one of the greatest bands in the world: The Beards.
I love my partners beard. He shaved it off last summer and it was the worst. Kissing him was so rough and painful unless he shaves every morning which is a lot for his skin. We both agreed never again lol and the beard is back in full force.
I used to have the same no beard stance, but Iāve been with my boyfriend for 3 years now who has always had a beard. The first and ONLY man Iāve ever been attracted to with one and Iād be so sad if he got rid of it. Just needs a nice trim to keep it tidy. :)
[Obey the beard](https://youtu.be/q0kSuZFOwFE)
You should grow out your beard in solidarity.
If/when he shaves, you are going to make another TIFU post.
You "let him" grow a beard?? Oh, how very kind of you.
His body, his choice.
He's happy. Put your feelings aside.
Is he letting it grow to a length that makes him look like Hagrid, or is he keeping it a certain length, and cutting it is it gets too tangly?
Imagine if the roles were reversed here and he was telling you how to cut your hair. It's his beard and his choice. Yes he probably should take the opinion of his wife into account, but at the end of the day it's his beard
Man, what is it with pregnant women and beards? The same thing happened when my mom was pregnant with me. I think my dad wanted to shave it and she was afraid I wouldn't recognize him anymore, but he shaved it off and I still knew who he was lol.
He'll probably end up shaving it at some point again anyway. I'm pretty jealous though. A good beard could change someone. Wish I could grow one to hide half of my ugliness but it's currently not happening for me. Maybe one day.
Only thing to do is get pregnant again
Tough tittiesā¦lol. You made the bedā¦
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I can't believe you "Let him" grow a beard.
āLettingā ??? Pretty bold of youā¦
āLettingā him. Gross.
Well well well, if it isn't the consequences of my own actions.
Lol my first ex oof I said I liked beards and he grew one out for me!! Loved it a lot, his grandma hated it and he wouldnāt shave it still makes me blush š³šš sorry it turned into a mess for you!! However if he likes it just let him have it, how would you feel if he only liked pixi cut? ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
Ahh yesss the beard dilemma. I'm lucky enough to grow a bad ass one, but it requires maintenance. Barber trips, bear oil etc. When the hassle / winter comes i cut it back. Although I will say I get a hell of a lot more attention with a bigger one then a short one. Then I go long and feel old so I go back to short.
I haven't shaved my face since I was 17. Wife has only ever seen pictures in my mother's house of me clean shaven. At 46, this is forever. You can't stop the beard once it has begun. Worship the beard. Love it.