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Eldritch Abomination: One, they're weird and I like that. Two, I have several human women wanted to court me even after I revealed my true nature, have you any idea how difficult it is for me to find a mate of my kind who is interested in me. Three, their lives are more chaotic than any other races I've met and finally, somehow they live on a world that would literally kill my kind if we're not careful.
"Serve? Oh, that's cute. You think those little wobbly lines on the floor compel me? No, I'm here to watch the drama and make it spin. If I didn't get involved, they would just lose, and that's, frankly boring."
Honestly this is also one of my favourite tropes, the eldritch monstrosity willingly choosing to play along with the whole thing because they're interested/like the situation/are having fun and they've been pretending the whole time that humans can actually do anything to them. And they will keep pretending in front of the one they're "serving".
HUA Alucard: look, you want honesty?! Fine MOM! After a century or two your brain starts to really abstract itself. You loose the passion you had for most things till your wants start getting just as abstract. But come back to humanity every few decades and ask for a to do list and just fuck with them. Keeps you grounded to reality instead of chasing the desire to crash blood covered antiques into dairy queens. Gives you stuff to do. And re-introduces you into a basically whole new culture.
I have been asked why I, an immortal entity beyond mortal comprehension, would take the form of a human and help them out. There’s two main reasons. One, the humans find me sexy. Even the ones who know I’m a giant tentacle monster. And second, as a personal hero of mine has said, bitches love cannons. And I’m a bitch.
I have been asked why I, an immortal entity beyond mortal comprehension, would take the form of a human and help them out. There’s two main reasons. One, the humans find me sexy. Even the ones who know I’m possessing the body of a field howitzer. And second, as a personal hero of mine has said, bitches love cannons. And I’m a cannon.
Eldritch Abomination (Human Form): So, what are we gonna do today?
H: Cause some chaos.
H2: YEAAAHHH!
EA(H): YYEEEAAHHH!
H: LET'S FUCKING GOOOO!!!
H3: And this is my life. Please help.
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Reason 1: To have fun. Mostly by annoying them. Reason 2: I do help them. Mostly while annoying them.
Q damn it, that’s such a perfect gif.
"Alucard!... Go for a walk"
"You know, that's the first time he's followed my orders without any backsass. It's both fulfilling and disappointing."
**WHAT** did you do?
I was in my room, minding my own bussiness...
**BULLS#IT** !!!
I waaaas!
And what happened while you were (airquotes) "minding your own business" ?!
So, I was just chillaxin' in my room like a baller, then all of a sudden these shmucks kicked in my door!
One of them yelled: "Get on your knees!!!"
And I said: “I’M NOT YOUR MOTHER LAST NIGHT!”
...and they took exeption to that.
And I said “I’m not your mother last night”
When hope is gone, undo this lock, And send me forth, on a moonlit walk.
Release restraint level... ZERO
*Ready to Die starts playing*
"Guys, i don't want to jinx it but i thing we got him-" *head attached to body privilege revoked*
Rest of humanity:......HANS! START PLANETARY EVACUATION!
Eldritch Abomination: One, they're weird and I like that. Two, I have several human women wanted to court me even after I revealed my true nature, have you any idea how difficult it is for me to find a mate of my kind who is interested in me. Three, their lives are more chaotic than any other races I've met and finally, somehow they live on a world that would literally kill my kind if we're not careful.
EA: Tldr; please step on me.
To be fair billion year being vs 100 max, lot easier to survive to when you die naturally.
What do you mean "why do you serve?" GTHRATLACHT is on the other side of this conflict, and i will be FUCKED if i see him succeed at anything.
humanity: https://preview.redd.it/5zel3vgrtjlc1.png?width=1200&format=png&auto=webp&s=9f2dc74daa82ccfe441bf9a780c7933a5ade948b
Spite may not be a human only emotion, but i personally think it's the MOST human emotion. We all get being a spiteful little shit.
I function due to caffeine and spite
Ah yes, one of my people.
"Serve? Oh, that's cute. You think those little wobbly lines on the floor compel me? No, I'm here to watch the drama and make it spin. If I didn't get involved, they would just lose, and that's, frankly boring."
Why watch a soap opera when you can participate on the side lines!
Honestly this is also one of my favourite tropes, the eldritch monstrosity willingly choosing to play along with the whole thing because they're interested/like the situation/are having fun and they've been pretending the whole time that humans can actually do anything to them. And they will keep pretending in front of the one they're "serving".
Bitches love cannons
https://preview.redd.it/rvej48fvxjlc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b3d44f82ae77293808943d18af84b227367345e0
https://preview.redd.it/2vy37a3cwklc1.jpeg?width=211&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=81929fe6931a0b8435ce03a178a26a26fa4129c7
https://preview.redd.it/eh8fcr50qmlc1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0dd10f7f4895005038c4867df3767e6ac2460485
https://preview.redd.it/zqoobos9lnlc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d90646fe8d498f3ac74f6e14f51207ae65e8e966
https://preview.redd.it/c4956v27lnlc1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0d76db0ed33433ab2ae68ac26903a3856a2040b2
https://preview.redd.it/diiblua677mc1.png?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=109cd38f9599fc852bfd5709cce40509027aa269
https://preview.redd.it/xof9vrjp1dwc1.jpeg?width=623&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4b69775923fbeb530de6b6e62c302a6ce10b763e
You activated my Alu-card
Counter trap?
I know it's very rich coming from me but YOUR POWERS ARE BULLSHIT
No I mean the Alu-Card is a trapcard
Probably It's the "boss's phase 2" card
HUA Alucard: look, you want honesty?! Fine MOM! After a century or two your brain starts to really abstract itself. You loose the passion you had for most things till your wants start getting just as abstract. But come back to humanity every few decades and ask for a to do list and just fuck with them. Keeps you grounded to reality instead of chasing the desire to crash blood covered antiques into dairy queens. Gives you stuff to do. And re-introduces you into a basically whole new culture.
"Because fuck you I like enthusiastic walks, that's why"
Very enthusiastic walks.
I have been asked why I, an immortal entity beyond mortal comprehension, would take the form of a human and help them out. There’s two main reasons. One, the humans find me sexy. Even the ones who know I’m a giant tentacle monster. And second, as a personal hero of mine has said, bitches love cannons. And I’m a bitch.
I have been asked why I, an immortal entity beyond mortal comprehension, would take the form of a human and help them out. There’s two main reasons. One, the humans find me sexy. Even the ones who know I’m possessing the body of a field howitzer. And second, as a personal hero of mine has said, bitches love cannons. And I’m a cannon.
I imagine you two will get along fabulously.
"why do i hear meat grinding on metal?"
Bitches **love** cannons
You know what they say... bitches love cannons
Bitches love cannons
Sebastian: " I am simply one hell of a butler."
Eldritch Abomination (Human Form): So, what are we gonna do today? H: Cause some chaos. H2: YEAAAHHH! EA(H): YYEEEAAHHH! H: LET'S FUCKING GOOOO!!! H3: And this is my life. Please help.
BITCH I EAT PEOPLE!!!